Welcome to Beautiful Bermuda!

That's what they say. Bermuda has surprised me. It has surprised me by being exactly what they said it is and more. It's friendly, It's gorgeous, It's lush, It's busy, and it has some of the most beautiful water and coves I've ever seen. I just got back from Milos Greece in the Agean sea, so that's a dedicated observation. And to think I came cause I got a cheap ticket. I needed to get out of dodge and it didn't matter so much where, as long as it was a bit warm.  Jackpot.  I do believe however, that the pink sand is an urban myth. And I am wearing my rose colored glasses at this point. I just returned down my winding island road to my private island English cottage after dining on superb chicken roti at the Island cafe. Food is very expensive here, so I did my research. We decided not to rent a scooter in order to preserve our lives and expand our stomachs. No driving on the wrong side of these tiny winding roads with everyone honking and barely fitting not to mention sitting behind Steve. I would die without a crash.

We are on the end of a bay called Oyster Point staying at a cottage I could live in. We get a kayak with our rental so yesterday we took our first cruise around the bay and observed all the cool boats with names like Cat's Whiskers, Plan B,  and Sin or Swim. Next time I'm bringing the cam cause I don't think we'll tip over. Steve said the boat had a ton of mouse crap all over it and he cleaned it off before I got there and didn't tell me. Good plan Steve. Grossness. Anyway, our cottage also has 2 adorable dogs named Zoie and Abby, a Private beach with a mermaid statue, and a garden path with an arch. Steve is afraid to walk up the street cause a giant dog came out and barked at us the first day and now I have to run interference and walk on the dog side while he creeps in the bushes. Not kidding.

Across the street from us is the Fairmont Hotel and it's pink and looks like a 70's space hotel but it has a pink shuttle that picks you up at the bottom of a giant hill and brings you up if you are a patron. Or not.  Tomorrow we will attempt to get on their free ferry. Then you can take another down to the beach which is right next to the most famous and "most beautiful" beach on Bermuda and even in the world, called Horseshoe Bay. Well I figured it was hogwash and although the beach was rather plain to me, you keep walking and holy coves Batman, there is the bluest turquoise water and coolest lava and rock formations and green little bays you could ever imagine. Probly not a great as Thailand or Vietnam, but damn competitive with anything in the western world. We had a great day walking up and down the coast and even found a washed up bottle half full of pirate wine. When we got back to the bay we had burgers and fries at the little beach cafe. Cheapest meal here, 23 bucks for crap. Did not care a bit. I made Panini's for dinner out of salami and cheddar and good french wheat bread with pesto sauce. One must use what one can afford on an island where a box of cheerios was 8 bucks. At least there is no tax here.

Visitors cannot rent cars here. Again, I would not want to drive. Although the bus system is nice, it took us an hour to get across a not very big island. I spose that's my only complaint. However, if you get used to it you just plan. Everyone is helpful as can be and there was a rooster in the central bus station. We went out to St. George, the original and historic settlement on the island. It was small and hilly and being off season not too crowded. You could walk through the streets without being in fear of getting picked off. There is a gorgeous unfinished stone crumbling church at the top of the town for photo fun.  We went out to Tobacco Bay, the next most famous beach. It was filthy and full of tabacco like seaweed. Walk a few steps further though and you are on some planet from the volcanic dimension. Amazing formations and reflections in the green and blue weedy water. Walking up towards Fort St. Catherine, we find Rock Lava cove heaven. This is the personification of the fun and fever of that B-52's song. I am in a photographic phrenzy! I just looked and everything delivered to perfection. Sea, sky, cloud, sun, rock, paper, scissors. Just kidding. But there was a white sail boat to ad to the mix. Two older peeps were sitting up in a lava cave over the sea knitting and reading. Rad. The fort is kinda boring and I don't want to pay to go in so I pee in the bushes instead. 

At this point we are ready to head back. There are more cool coves with old boats and an old peeling cafe on the road back. I am having heat stroke. Really. It's all of 72 degrees out. This stage of life is going to kill me before it's done I swear. I am clammy and hot and sweaty and chilly. The local friendly brown bag dude entertains me on the bus bench. The info booth dude goes on a long time about legalization when I tell him I'm from Colorado. They have a similar situation here. Go Bermuda. The bus ride home takes forever. We transfer in the main town of Hamilton and all the school kids ride the city buses. Alone. They wear cute uniforms and are apparently very safe. Hardly any cops here and the ones we see do not carry guns. America is ridiculous with it's firearms. Although Guatemala was in a whole different league. Anyway, we rest a tad and walk back up to the Island cafe to have Lamb Roti tonight. Delish. The waitress knows me now and is sweet. An over mothering mother is behind us. Her eyes are bugging out and she must have just taken a productive parent class.  That is not acceptable behavior. We are going home now. Not. Lets all have pancakes. And Milk. Steve wants to kill her. I am amused as I remember the cafe days with our kids... as Kook gave the boys quarters to get super balls, the girls gossiped and colored, everyone got pop with caffeine; and Kook and I ordered another round. Much more productive parenting. I have to get chocolate at the market and on the way home I have a boot incident with my flip flops. I stay up till midnight and watch Modern Family. The wind is whipping and all the doors are shaking.  I eat all the leftover salami before bed. 

The wind is now howling at 30 knots. What in the name of navel speak that means I don't know but it is gusting at least to 60 MPH. Just glorious. I hate it so much. but the sun is out and it's still 72 so off we blow to the bus stop to go out to the western tip of the island. This is the Naval dockyard. I ask the bus driver if this is cruise ship day ( oh please let it not be) as this is where they all go. No he says, they don't start coming till April. Count your blessing because 6000 peeps assault the Dockyard all at once. Lucky for us we got to see things in relative immunity. Only really a few other early season visitors are touring the National Museum, old naval cannons and shipyards with us. It's ok. There was an amazing modern art mural showing every aspect of history and culture of Bermuda filling up one stairway opening. There were beautiful old stone dockyard buildings now as shopping malls (avoidance tactics used here) and there was Dolphin quest. We got to see the dophins up close getting fed and 2 were about to have babies. They are raised in captivity in a nice space connected to the real ocean and apparently treated better than grandchildren. Most dolphins in the wild live till 20 and there was a 40 year old here! I could tell which one by his eyes. They were so great. It was 200 bucks a pop to get in with them. Not happening. In the museum I finally got to read about how Bermuda got populated. The earliest settlers came from the native American islands and Portugal and Africa to dive for pearls! After that there were alot of shipwrecks that got stuck here. Eventually it was more frequently used as a stopover on the way to and from the Bahamas and Spain/Portugal. 1/4 of the population is still Portugese. Once the English discovered it's beauty they came, along with Americans and began enslaving the black population. Bid surprise there. Most locals seem to be of that descent to me and thank God were freed from white man's heathanism by the 1800's. We ate lunch at an English pub and paid 70 bucks for fish, burger, and beers. Caught the bus in time for the storm to roll in. The wrong bus, and so we had to climb a giant hill and take the pink shuttle back down and made it home before the rain assaulted us. It blew in all the windows and the doors rattled all night long. The sun is now out at noon and the wind is still howling. Steve just went on a mission to get carry out at the local cafe. We're gonna try jerk chicken. Maybe venture out a bit later if it calms down.