Bermuda Footnotes

(see full blog right below this entry!)

Our last few days on the island were spent checking off food and foraging adventures from the list. Here I am kicking back in the cottage feeling quite accomplished! We visited the Royal navy Cemetary on the last of the blustery days. It is one of the most picturesque and cool graveyards I have plundered with my camera. Complete with roosters and palm trees. The light cooperated and I can't wait to get some shots into the editing mode! Yesterday we headed out to Tom Moores Jungle which was, well, a walk through some native plant life with a few cool caves and grottos. Before embarking we had a breakfast plate at a Filipino cafe and had a fine ethnic experience. Slices of BQ pork next to a lovely mold of rice topped with an over easy egg along with some delish vinegar sauce. After the jungle trek we go to the Swizzle Inn and have some great nachos. We have high priced cocktails and mine tastes like a cherry tootsie pop and doesn't give me a buzz. The bar is the first tavern on the Island and gets a bit crazy during tourist season I'm sure. I'm sticking with the Island cafe and the chicken Roti!  Oh yeah, we then scout out the local Jamaican Jerk chicken joint in Hamilton. We get a giant container of off the grill spicy legs and thighs. Best priced food we have found and great sides. At home we kayak around our glassy bay and snap some tugboats before we eat mo chicken. I have to get the space heater from the hostess cause I can't get the damp island chill out of my bones and we watch the movie Taken with Liam Neeson. Today we walk the beach to say goodbye and I try my wide angle lens but the sun is in my face. Still, the south beaches are money here. Then we take the bus to Hamilton and eat some great Rockfish tacos at the Pickled Onion right on the harbor. We get a local beer and it's the first good one I've had on the island. Then finally, off to the Ferry which comes with our bus pass and we only took it this one time. We go to the Dockyard again. It's fun and quick and comfortable. Lots of people are at the Dockyard and the shops and restaurants are open. Local folk are there in their Sunday best looking way cool and old school. On the way home I listen to a darling old island lady talking to her friends in her island accent. Either west Indies or Caribbean. I'm telling you, you better say good day and thank you to the bus drivers and everyone else you see around here. What a joyful change of pace to be in a place where politeness, smiles and hellos are not only the norm but the required form of behavior. We need to show school children videos of Bermuda to teach them some proper behavior. I love it here. I've seen most of it now, but I'ma come back some day, yes M'am!

Welcome to Beautiful Bermuda!

That's what they say. Bermuda has surprised me. It has surprised me by being exactly what they said it is and more. It's friendly, It's gorgeous, It's lush, It's busy, and it has some of the most beautiful water and coves I've ever seen. I just got back from Milos Greece in the Agean sea, so that's a dedicated observation. And to think I came cause I got a cheap ticket. I needed to get out of dodge and it didn't matter so much where, as long as it was a bit warm.  Jackpot.  I do believe however, that the pink sand is an urban myth. And I am wearing my rose colored glasses at this point. I just returned down my winding island road to my private island English cottage after dining on superb chicken roti at the Island cafe. Food is very expensive here, so I did my research. We decided not to rent a scooter in order to preserve our lives and expand our stomachs. No driving on the wrong side of these tiny winding roads with everyone honking and barely fitting not to mention sitting behind Steve. I would die without a crash.

We are on the end of a bay called Oyster Point staying at a cottage I could live in. We get a kayak with our rental so yesterday we took our first cruise around the bay and observed all the cool boats with names like Cat's Whiskers, Plan B,  and Sin or Swim. Next time I'm bringing the cam cause I don't think we'll tip over. Steve said the boat had a ton of mouse crap all over it and he cleaned it off before I got there and didn't tell me. Good plan Steve. Grossness. Anyway, our cottage also has 2 adorable dogs named Zoie and Abby, a Private beach with a mermaid statue, and a garden path with an arch. Steve is afraid to walk up the street cause a giant dog came out and barked at us the first day and now I have to run interference and walk on the dog side while he creeps in the bushes. Not kidding.

Across the street from us is the Fairmont Hotel and it's pink and looks like a 70's space hotel but it has a pink shuttle that picks you up at the bottom of a giant hill and brings you up if you are a patron. Or not.  Tomorrow we will attempt to get on their free ferry. Then you can take another down to the beach which is right next to the most famous and "most beautiful" beach on Bermuda and even in the world, called Horseshoe Bay. Well I figured it was hogwash and although the beach was rather plain to me, you keep walking and holy coves Batman, there is the bluest turquoise water and coolest lava and rock formations and green little bays you could ever imagine. Probly not a great as Thailand or Vietnam, but damn competitive with anything in the western world. We had a great day walking up and down the coast and even found a washed up bottle half full of pirate wine. When we got back to the bay we had burgers and fries at the little beach cafe. Cheapest meal here, 23 bucks for crap. Did not care a bit. I made Panini's for dinner out of salami and cheddar and good french wheat bread with pesto sauce. One must use what one can afford on an island where a box of cheerios was 8 bucks. At least there is no tax here.

Visitors cannot rent cars here. Again, I would not want to drive. Although the bus system is nice, it took us an hour to get across a not very big island. I spose that's my only complaint. However, if you get used to it you just plan. Everyone is helpful as can be and there was a rooster in the central bus station. We went out to St. George, the original and historic settlement on the island. It was small and hilly and being off season not too crowded. You could walk through the streets without being in fear of getting picked off. There is a gorgeous unfinished stone crumbling church at the top of the town for photo fun.  We went out to Tobacco Bay, the next most famous beach. It was filthy and full of tabacco like seaweed. Walk a few steps further though and you are on some planet from the volcanic dimension. Amazing formations and reflections in the green and blue weedy water. Walking up towards Fort St. Catherine, we find Rock Lava cove heaven. This is the personification of the fun and fever of that B-52's song. I am in a photographic phrenzy! I just looked and everything delivered to perfection. Sea, sky, cloud, sun, rock, paper, scissors. Just kidding. But there was a white sail boat to ad to the mix. Two older peeps were sitting up in a lava cave over the sea knitting and reading. Rad. The fort is kinda boring and I don't want to pay to go in so I pee in the bushes instead. 

At this point we are ready to head back. There are more cool coves with old boats and an old peeling cafe on the road back. I am having heat stroke. Really. It's all of 72 degrees out. This stage of life is going to kill me before it's done I swear. I am clammy and hot and sweaty and chilly. The local friendly brown bag dude entertains me on the bus bench. The info booth dude goes on a long time about legalization when I tell him I'm from Colorado. They have a similar situation here. Go Bermuda. The bus ride home takes forever. We transfer in the main town of Hamilton and all the school kids ride the city buses. Alone. They wear cute uniforms and are apparently very safe. Hardly any cops here and the ones we see do not carry guns. America is ridiculous with it's firearms. Although Guatemala was in a whole different league. Anyway, we rest a tad and walk back up to the Island cafe to have Lamb Roti tonight. Delish. The waitress knows me now and is sweet. An over mothering mother is behind us. Her eyes are bugging out and she must have just taken a productive parent class.  That is not acceptable behavior. We are going home now. Not. Lets all have pancakes. And Milk. Steve wants to kill her. I am amused as I remember the cafe days with our kids... as Kook gave the boys quarters to get super balls, the girls gossiped and colored, everyone got pop with caffeine; and Kook and I ordered another round. Much more productive parenting. I have to get chocolate at the market and on the way home I have a boot incident with my flip flops. I stay up till midnight and watch Modern Family. The wind is whipping and all the doors are shaking.  I eat all the leftover salami before bed. 

The wind is now howling at 30 knots. What in the name of navel speak that means I don't know but it is gusting at least to 60 MPH. Just glorious. I hate it so much. but the sun is out and it's still 72 so off we blow to the bus stop to go out to the western tip of the island. This is the Naval dockyard. I ask the bus driver if this is cruise ship day ( oh please let it not be) as this is where they all go. No he says, they don't start coming till April. Count your blessing because 6000 peeps assault the Dockyard all at once. Lucky for us we got to see things in relative immunity. Only really a few other early season visitors are touring the National Museum, old naval cannons and shipyards with us. It's ok. There was an amazing modern art mural showing every aspect of history and culture of Bermuda filling up one stairway opening. There were beautiful old stone dockyard buildings now as shopping malls (avoidance tactics used here) and there was Dolphin quest. We got to see the dophins up close getting fed and 2 were about to have babies. They are raised in captivity in a nice space connected to the real ocean and apparently treated better than grandchildren. Most dolphins in the wild live till 20 and there was a 40 year old here! I could tell which one by his eyes. They were so great. It was 200 bucks a pop to get in with them. Not happening. In the museum I finally got to read about how Bermuda got populated. The earliest settlers came from the native American islands and Portugal and Africa to dive for pearls! After that there were alot of shipwrecks that got stuck here. Eventually it was more frequently used as a stopover on the way to and from the Bahamas and Spain/Portugal. 1/4 of the population is still Portugese. Once the English discovered it's beauty they came, along with Americans and began enslaving the black population. Bid surprise there. Most locals seem to be of that descent to me and thank God were freed from white man's heathanism by the 1800's. We ate lunch at an English pub and paid 70 bucks for fish, burger, and beers. Caught the bus in time for the storm to roll in. The wrong bus, and so we had to climb a giant hill and take the pink shuttle back down and made it home before the rain assaulted us. It blew in all the windows and the doors rattled all night long. The sun is now out at noon and the wind is still howling. Steve just went on a mission to get carry out at the local cafe. We're gonna try jerk chicken. Maybe venture out a bit later if it calms down.

THE PARIS FILES---Living Abroad in September

Part 3

Please Note
This Journal Contains
Drinking and Swearing
Deep Thoughts and Emotions
Personal Opinions and Observations 

Paris 7 

Tour Eiffle

ET

Kook is writing a book where her heroine is trapped in the Eiffel T. It's a psychological thriller. A big thing for her in coming to Paris was to spend some research time at the tower. We went that one evening, but being waylayed by promiscuous Greeks arrested the procedure. So today we are to go back and we were to go to the top. I am doing this for Kook as I enjoyed the night vision but once is enough for me in general as there are just too many tourists to keep me excited. The morning is overcast and as we get into the pretty long line it starts raining. Kook is pissed about the line. We decide to do the stairs. It's easy as pie even though there are 700. This goes to the 2nd floor then you can go the rest of the way on the elevator where there is not such a line. When we got our tix to walk up there were like 20 heavy middle aged Russians in the stair line and one was there yelling and swearing. One by one the hefty group is turning around and busting back past all the younger and in shape people. Obviously they were mislead and Boris the boss is not happy about it. When we go in we have a double purse search. There are no signs and on the second one I don't unzip my purse cause I assume there is an ex ray. Knowing damn well I am not French the snotty worker dude in a suit starts yelling at me in his language. I figure it out and unzip my purse. He still yells at me as I walk away. Jeez Dude I say, sorry I wrecked your day. I am super pissed to be treated like this. Fuck face French labor worker.

It's now raining like a bitch and windy. This has been a heyday for the hawker dudes selling umbrellas and ponchos. There are peeps all over wearing and using them. I don't want to go to the top in pouring rain with no view and it's cold. I tell Kook I'll meet her at home. But she says lets just eat at the restaurant here. It has nice atmosphere and the lunch prices were only a tad bit higher than a normal cafe. The staff is very nice and we get an OK table. We  splurge on the big beers. This is Kooks last meal to pay for. All they have is Heineken but that's ok. The food is ok, no better or worse than anywhere. Ironically, they serve it in like, airplane style containers which really reduces the opinion and feeling of your meal. The place looks like a metropolitan club and your food comes in a glass dish with a Tupperware top. How stupid of them. The waiter is nice and speaks almost flawless English. He was educated at an international school in Belgium. I have met other Euro workers educated at international schools and they have all been really class acts. Kook decides she will go up another morning. This gets me out of it. As we walk down the stairs in the rain I start to make up a little song. "Eiffel Tower in the rain, Au bon pain, Au bon pain. Kook wants to come back and do it again. Totally insane, totally insane." This is a master work. Perhaps I can sell the rights to the Rodin museum and they can have it inscribed on a wall to make up for my pilfering of the garden sign. 

We come home and I need some down time. It rains all day. Kook goes around the corner to sit at a cafe and write. She is approached by some local crone who seems to think she is the Parisian fashion expert. She tells Kook that wearing purple is the sign of prostitution. Kook is wearing purple. Then she tells her some malarkey that sounds like she got stuck about 10 years ago, in what is cool on the fashion scene. She says “ I was born in Paris and I will die in Paris!” When Kook comes in the door she says; "I've just been mistaken for a French whore".

We take long naps and I make some fresh pasta with ham. The ham inside looks like spam and I am a bit grossed out. There is no hot water and I am having an anxiety attack that what if something is wrong and I'll have to make a phone call. We can't find a hot water heater in the apt. Maybe it's shared and the neighbors used it up. We watch Date Night with Steve Corelle and are winding it down. Kook says she'll go to Sacre Coure and Montmartre if it's nice tomorrow. Yeah! I am excited about this place and am putting on my scamming armor.

 View from the ET landing

 Reflections

 The Big Beers (9 Bucks!!)

From the Flat

Paris 8

Fat Bottom Girls 

 Out of Time

So there are these auto-street terlets in Paris. Like an out house only elite. You will find one---a very painful ONE--here and there at a bustling area. There is never much of a line. There is a very good reason. The whole thing is automated; and retarded. If you make one wrong move it won't let you in , or out. I thought I was trapped at the Eiffel tower. For real, in the terlet, not in Kooks book. People stand around perplexed at the thing and friendly Parisians stop to help and explain. But you are not seeing them use these things. It lets you go, then runs a hand washing system, then a dryer, then maybe lets you out, without flushing, then washes the floor. If you make a wrong move it shuts you out or runs through the whole system while you are peeing your pants outside. Kook wanted to use it today. We tried to go in together, oh nono, you can't do that. Then I hear her trying to get out, then I go and force the handle to open it. It is the soup natzi of terlets. I am not using it again. I will pee in the street in the Marais like the dude we saw this afternoon. Yep, the Marais is like Broadway in Manhattan. A very prestigious, fancy, perfect area of Paris. And the street dude was just holding out his sweater and standing on the side of the street and peeing while all the fancy Parisians walked past. Ahhh Paris, the city of Pee.

It was pretty nice though a bit breezy today. We head out to Montmartre and Sacre Coure. This is the "top" of Paris on the north side and is a very up the hill area to the top where you see the very Turkish looking Mosque. I think it's beautiful and all my pictures are crooked. Gosh Dangit! I lost my basic straightening program when the microsoft editing software went obsolete and now I cannot straighten my buildings and I am cursed, and my friend Itzick on flickr will never let it by, so I can't post half my pictures. I am going to have to put that ridiculous grid thing up on my viewfinder or I am doomed. I hope it has one! Anyway this is known as a scammy trappy area but it was not too bad today. I had to blow off 3 bracelet scamming dudes but they did not bug me and Place du Terte, with it's artists and toury shops was kinda cute. Another rude-ass Parisian worker slammed my camera into my face and said "photo outside" in the Sacre Coure; as mass was starting. Everyone had a cam but I was unfortunate enough to be by him when they started blabbing and crooning the mass. I hate the tourist parts of Paris due to the crowds and horrible workers but you have to see them. I am not going back to the Eiffel. I pretty much hate it except for the night view. Kook is going alone tomorrow and I will wander through St. Germaine or go to some Gardens where I can have peace and enjoy Paris. I am totally in love with Paris now and I am so glad I came. There are a million things to see and do and I have just scratched the surface. I love the vibe and the variety and the metro and the streets and the fashion of the true Parisians.

So back to Montmartre. This was my next fav part of Paris. It's like gritty street Paris right next to beautiful hilly old school Paris and the two mix with just the right symmetry. (spell checker please--I tried to make it work but couldn't find it) I mean there is alot of graffiti and cobblestone streets and big old buildings all in a row and fun market streets with all kinds of little fooderies and cafes and boutiques and it's all got a feel of run down old romantic Paris and they are doing alot of fixing up here and there and this is where the red-light district called Pigalle is, and the old real Moulin Rogue. It's a bit dirty but it still has that feel of history trying to hold on in all it's ugliness and character. I have been walking a fuck-ton of stairs all week but my legs didn't hurt until today after walking up and down in this steep area. Our lunch was mag.  As we scoped out cafe's I see this place with giant salad bowls that everyone is getting and they have fried potatoes that look like chips on top of the salads and I smell garlic. This is the place for me. So we go back later and it is so good. My salad has the usual ham and I get roquefort cheese and olive and the fried taters are amazing. Also we get the big beers again. When I say this I mean like 18 oz. and it costs about 9 bucks US dollars but this place had it a bit cheaper to ad to the goodness. Beautiful place and great food. My picture sucks. ;(

Then we go to the Erotica museum. I have no interest in this and it is expensive for a small museum but I go for Kook and am very glad! I have loved every museum. This had 6 little floors with everything from ancient stone penis's to modern artist displays and it was very cool. The music was jazzy and fun and there were no crowds. The art was great and I just ignored that it was weird. The main featured artist did modern comic book like pencil drawings, very detailed; all in black and white. It was amazing art of the most bizarre thing. It was a naked lady with a sort of French Betty Boop look (but realistic) and she had big boobs and the HUGEST ass ever. The ass was the star of the drawings. Now this is gross but bare with me. The other character was like a little Greek slave man about one forth of her size and in every single picture he was chained under her with his face buried in her crotch. She was doing a million different things like, working at an office, drinking at a bar, bathing at the beach, or whatever, and naked with the slave guy smothered by her giant female parts. It was so weird and fascinating. There was a beautiful book of the art with a bit of color and I know it sounds gross but I may have to go back and get it. It is the strangest and wildest thing I have seen and would be a good memory of Paris. I just don't see it on the coffee table though. Anyway they had posters for sale from past artists and I got a cool one I will probably frame.

Back we go on the Metro thorough Stalingrad. There are more than a few German names on the transport system which must have come from when they occupied Paris during the war. They beat the crap out of Paris and I am really surprised that the German names were not changed. Either way, an interesting bit of history as there is also a Franklin D. Roosevelt station! We hang out and nap and then I need a desert so off we go to the Monoprix. It's super crowded as it's after work time and unlike America everyone buys just one or 2 days of food at once. I get some regular bread so I can make Croque Monsieurs which is grilled cheese. Mine is not as good as the one I got at the cafe. I also get puddings with cream and a lemon tart. Then I get an apple to look good. Then both Steve's skype us at the same time. We can't do a conference as we do not have that download on out computer. We call Sadak back and Lake (my son) comes on and looks pissed but he is just sick. He got in his car and drove home so Steve will have to call and excuse him. He has no problem with this. This is why I love him. Also now that we know the apt. has a loft and a couch he is going to check if he can get an earlier ticket cause he actually had 2 days off before he comes but I thought there would be no room. It will probably cost too much but it's worth checking. I am so full as I ate more paella also and have had a bunch of wine but I'm not buzzed 'cause I ate so much. I wonder if I will dream about giant ass slave boy oral sex? Sorry but that was weirdly obsessive. Don't worry though, it did not turn us on and cause us to have lesbian sex.

 Sacre Coure

 Place Du Tertre

 This is it

 In Montmartre

 Featured Artist

 Moi

Coolness

Paris 9

Finding Falafal King

Today Kook took off early to go to the ET again. She HAD to get to the top. I don't give a shit and never want to go there again. She ended up climbing the steps again as the line was even longer in the morning! Yuck. I was gonna shop or go to a museum but I took my time enjoying the apartment and jamming on my i-pod and being able to pee whenever I wanted. I kid you not I went 6 times before noon. I need a bladder replacement. Kook got back and we walked around and went to lunch at the Falafal place. Really nice people and great platters of food and a good ethnic beer. But we should have split a platter. The schwarma and falafal were fantastic but alot of other stuff came and we left half. How dumb of us. Then we got lost in the Marais for awhile but I liked it because it is like winding through a different world of people and shops and buildings and cobblestones molded with time and class and culture. 

 It has been looking like rain all day but hasn't, so we decide to head to Luxembourg gardens, one of the last things on the check list! It's quite deserted which I love, and there are pear orchards and men playing bocce ball and a big group of bee keepers in their bee keeping outfits which confused us for a moment. This palace and its gardens were commissioned by Marie de Medici who was the widow of Henry IV. She was Italian so the fabulous Fontaine Medici and the palace, which now houses the French senate, are built in that style. The Medici fountain is currently my single most favorite eye candy in Paris. Gorgeous statues surrounded by an arch type backing sprout small fountains and steps into a lovely small canal. Surrounded by greenery and shaded pathways we took some great pics and admired the peace on a not too busy day. It smells fabulous to walk through the gardens still with perfect late summer blooms.

We head home and I want to pick up a sammy for later as I'm sick of meat and cheese. Walking out of the Bastille is my ideal item waiting in a tiny little case with a friendly clerk who is super happy to speak English even when I am trying to speak French. We are deciding what to do for the last day. Now that Kook has "been to the top" so to speak she is happy as a clam. I have not wandered St. Germaine yet and speak my desires. She is in. Yee haw! Then we will go back to the book sellers on the Seine and get what we passed up the other day. It is supposed to rain on and off for my days alone. I have loved the museums so I can always do that if it's wet. Otherwise Paris has many more secrets and lots of shopping for me to partake in. I know just how to get to the H&M........Kook has got the Hobbit on again. We lost TV ability on the first day so I hope my computer will stream me some Trailer Park Boys in France. If it did on the Greek Islands, I think I got a pretty good chance.

 Falafal King

 Falafal Queen

 Mona in the Marais

 Luxenbourg Gardens

 Fontaine de Medici

 Garden Kooks